2018 is winding down and seems to have flown by in the blink of an eye. I'm starting to look ahead and plan for 2019. I'm also thinking (or over thinking) about what I learned in 2018. Let's see if I can put all the thoughts swirling around between my ears in some sort of coherent post.
A lesson that kept coming back to me over and over again throughout the year is the difference between me in the gym and everywhere else. At my happy place I feel competent, I actually feel like I know what I'm doing and I do it well. In other areas of my life I rarely feel that. I feel unsure, overwhelmed and on the verge of panic many times. True deadlifting, squatting and bench pressing aren't life or death, but they are my passion. One of my goals for 2019 is to work on my confidence in every area of my life. I'm not suggesting that making a specialty coffee drink or keeping my drive thru times well below 200 will become my new passion, but I'd like to think at some point that I won't spend my workday with my shoulders drawn protectively up to my ears and a feeling of impending doom hovering over me.
In the past year I've started following an amazing group of women on Instagram. They are, in no particular order: Stacy Burr, Bonica Brown, Marisa Inda, Kimberly Walford, Hannah Frigon, and Miriam Lawrence. These women are completely amazing, strong, confident and it inspires me beyond my ability to articulate it to see their posts and videos. I have even started posting a few of my own videos. Not because I think I am awesome and inspiring, but because I love to lift and I want to share that with others.
Looking ahead to the year to come I have so many goals. I won't bore you with all of them. There is one I would like to share, because I'd like anyone reading this who wants to to help keep me accountable. Don't worry, I'll be asking my coach for help as well.
I want a new body in 2019. A leaner, stronger, fiercer body. Okay, maybe I'd like a fiercer attitude in 2019, but I am sure I can make my body leaner and stronger. I want to finally figure out this nutrition thing. I'm not looking for a "diet": I want a plan I can sustain, one that gives me the energy to deadlift, squat, bench press, row, bike, spin, push the sleds, flip some tires, and do anything else that shows up in my program. I want to finally learn how to stop being at war with this body and start appreciating it for what it can do and what it can become. Hating myself and my body hasn't worked to get me where I want to be. As the saying goes if you want something you've never had before you have to do something you've never done before. It's time to take it to heart and work on it. I'm pretty sure my coaches will be on board with helping out on this goal, but I'll take any and all help I can get.
Another thing I will be working on in 2019 is making my mental strength match my physical strength. Maybe it's all the books I've read lately : "Girl Wash Your Face" by Rachel Hollis, "You Are a Badass" by Jen Sincero, and "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" by Mark Manson, but I am more than ready to make my inside match my outside. Yes I make mistakes. In fact I can and do make heinous mistakes, but I AM HUMAN. Just like everyone else I am HUMAN. I will screw up, I will never be perfect. That doesn't make me evil, worthless, or hopeless. Time to let it go, move forward, and become the person I was meant to be.
Thank you for reading my ramblings. I hope you'll follow me into the new year. I'll try to be entertaining, but I can assure you I will always be me and I will be honest.
Happy New Year. Make it the best one yet.
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| This is my happy place. Love Pride. |
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