Letting go

Does there come a point in every life where you have to make a choice to let go? Or am I especially gifted at choosing people and situations that won't do a thing to improve my life and could in fact have the opposite effect? Is my "picker" broken?

The above questions have been running through my mind most of this weekend. So much for rest, relaxation and regrouping for the week ahead. The only time I don't find those questions running on  a loop in my head are when my body is moving. Gee, I bet this is why I exercise so much. Gosh, such an astute observation...oops, sarcasm.

Time for some "fall" cleaning. I tossed a lot of baggage and garbage on August 10 at about 5:45 pm. There's a bit more garbage still rattling around up there though. The part bothering me the most now though is some of the garbage isn't me: it's someone else. I am allowing someone else to have control in my life AGAIN...and I'll be blunt: it is PISSING me off.

Sorry, this rental property is closed down. It's been condemned and it won't ever be re-opening. I will forgive, but I won't forget. It's water under the bridge now and I have to move on. I have a life I WANT to live and am enjoying living for the first time ever. Thank you for the lesson, I'm moving on.

Wow, that was pretty cryptic, wasn't it? No sense beating around the bush though: it's over and done. No chance at going back, it's beyond time to move forward.

I'm letting go of that which I cannot control and grabbing on to the things I can. I can't control other people, but I can damn sure control myself and my reactions. If I can haul my butt up and down a mountain for 11 miles, 9 of those with pulled muscles, I think I can manage to be in charge of my own life and who is in it.

I have a core group of amazing people I can turn to when I need a shoulder, a listening ear or advice. These people are more than my friends and family, every one one of them is someone I would trust with my life and I don't hesitate to spill my "crazies" to them (thanks Nedah for that term: it is so perfect!), even if I should engage a filter more often than I choose to.

So what did the above have to do with my journey? Well, if I'm stressed or conflicted it shows up on the outside. Not always in my food choices or on the scale, but in my willingness to step beyond my comfort zone, my attitude and the amount of patience I show myself before I slam my fist into the turf and swear. (Helpful hint: the next time I need to drop an f-bomb and pound my fist I may want to consider doing it on the mats instead of the turf). I don't want obstacles I've created standing in the way of this journey so I'm taking responsibility and releasing them. After all, if I stay in my comfort zone there is no way I'll continue writing this blog. There is nothing easy or comfortable about posting pictures of myself or writing what I feel for other people to read. I hope in some way what I put in this blog can help someone see getting healthy isn't about being perfect. If I can do this anyone can, really. You want a cheerleader? Let me know: I'll be happy to wave some pom poms around and encourage you to keep going.

Measurements were taken on Monday, September 2 and I want to share them with you. I'm pleased with them. No new body fat percentage to report this time, so I'll stick with the old percentage from July.

Weight: 234 pounds (down 59 pounds from 1/12)
Body Fat Percentage: 28.2% ( down 9.7%)
Hips: 47.25 in. (down 7.5)
Waist: 37.5 in. ( down 6.5 in.)
Thigh: 26 in. (down 1.75 in)

Arm: 13.75 in.  (down 0.75 in)
Total inches lost since 1/12: 16.5 inches

Me on September 2, 2013. Yes I am smiling.

See, letting go isn't just about me spilling my crazies, it's about letting go of the inches, the weight and my comfort zone. Thanks for reading!