The Three

Once upon a time there was a little girl. She felt her purpose in life was to make other people happy. She also felt like she was pretty much a failure at that. Why was she so sure she was a failure? Because the one man in the world she should have been able to make happy just wasn't. She was a smart girl and she knew deep down the man's unhappiness was not her fault, but he was her father and she wanted to make him proud and happy. There were times, brief moments, when she earned the right grades or did the "right" things, but mostly she felt like a disappointment.

Fast forward about 40 years and the girl is no longer so little. She's encountered some obstacles and bumps on her path, some inflicted by others, but a fair number self made. From the obstacles she encountered she decided there were very few people she could trust. She still desired to make other people happy, but she didn't want many of them too close. Especially men.

All right, enough story time for today. No sense talking about myself in the third person. You all know I'm talking about me...let's cut to the chase.

Amazing what one trip far outside your comfort zone can make you think about. I could be tearing apart my lifts from the meet. I could be endlessly reviewing the videos, watching to see the flaws, planning how to fix them. Don't worry, there's plenty of that going on too, but mostly I've been thinking about other things. I've been thinking about being proud of myself and how odd it feels. I know it is okay to feel proud of what I accomplished, but I'd be a liar if I said that was enough for me. I want to know I didn't let down other people in my life.

I am sure there's another post coming soon about another close group in my life, but this post is about three very specific people. One my age, though he loves to remind me that I hit 47 before him and two others much younger than me, but so much wiser. They're all men.

There was a time not so long ago that I could count on the fingers of one hand the number of men I trusted and still have a lot of fingers left to count with. I can't keep track of the number of men I trust using my hands anymore, but the three on my mind are the top. They are the ones I will choose to talk to nine times out of ten when I have an issue I want advice on or I need a shoulder or even when I just need something simple like an "atta girl" or a hug.

I've thanked them before in other posts, but they're in for it again. And they should be warned: I'm feeling sappy, so I might embarrass them. I don't intend to do so, but I believe quite strongly that when someone does something for you that you appreciate that you tell them.

So here goes...sorry guys, but you've earned it.


Eric Hastings:

I've known you since elementary school. We lost touch for awhile, but thanks to your super amazing wife we reconnected. You are my rock. When I need a shoulder I can count on you to offer yours. You are one of my biggest cheerleaders. Case in point: you spent last weekend with a complete nervous wreck (big surprise: it's me) watching me pick heavy things up and put them down. You even did the driving. You are protective of me and you make me feel like I'm someone special.

You are one of my very best friends and one of the people I go to for advice when I am unsure about something.

You can come off as pretty gruff, but you've never been anything but considerate and kind to me. You encourage me to be myself and be the best I can be. You support me when it would probably be easier to walk away.

Mr. Invincible, you are one of the greatest men I know. I am beyond blessed to have you to share the good and bad times with. Love you.

One of the best men I know.

Dane Martin:

What can I say about you coach? You nudged me into powerlifting and ever since I agreed to give it a try you've been there. Whether in person or through text I've felt like I've had your undivided attention at each of my six meets. If I sat down and figured out the amount of time I spend with you in a week it would be more than I spend with anyone else. That's fine with me though: I feel like we make an amazing team. I can't wait to see where we can go.

I will say that even though it took me several minutes to process that I was seeing you on Saturday at the meet when I finally made the connection I felt calm. For the first time since I entered the meet I knew it was going to be okay. Whatever the outcome it would be okay.

I asked you when I was finished if I made you proud, that wasn't just because I wanted praise. It was because it honestly and truly mattered to me. You have given so much of your time to work with me I wanted you to feel you got a good return on that investment. You gave up a lot of your Saturday to come to the meet to coach me and watch me. I'm sure you've got a list of things we will be working on before I step onto the platform again, but on Saturday you made me feel like I was enough, like I was worthy of the time you spent and you were truly proud of what I accomplished.

There really aren't enough words coach. Thank you will have to suffice.

Thanks for being there.

Tyler Tinker:

Last, but by no means least. Simply put you are amazing. Those aren't just words either: you made me promise to be honest with you, so I will be honest. You are one of my heroes. You are one of the first people I contact after a meet to share my results. Sometimes, as you well know, I contact you before for a little reassurance, or a pep talk...even if I don't come out and ask for those things. You have never brushed me off or made me feel like I'm wasting your time. If you notice I'm upset you might not say anything in that moment, but you do check in with me later on.

You let me keep my hardware at Pride. When I ask you give up some of your precious free time to work with me on mobility so I can be at my best. You give hugs, fist bumps and praise when it is warranted. You also correct me when it is needed and call me on it if I am half-assing something.You asked me for honesty and promised me you would be honest with me in return. You made a change I didn't think I wanted feel much less intimidating. Turns out that change was the best thing that could have happened. With your coaching, support and encouragement I have made more progress than I would have thought possible.

I may not come right out and ask you if I make you proud, but trust me, I certainly hope I have. My life is far better for having you in it. Thank you.

One of my heroes.

These men are my top three. The ones I consistently turn to for advice, help and support. They are not the only ones, but for whatever reason these three have been on my mind the most. Hopefully now that I poured the crazies out onto this page I won't be spending so much time staring at the ceiling tonight.

Thanks for reading!