Three Choices

Right now I am in the midst of training for the biggest meet of my fledgling powerlifting career. The USA Powerlifting Northeast Regional Meet on August 19-20 in Marlborough, MA. Yes, I remember saying after the Vermont Championships there would be a rest. My coach and I both said it.

Then the invitation came, then Coach D decided it would be good for me to have another meet under my belt before a national competition. So here I am about 4 weeks out wondering what the hell I was thinking. On August 20 I will have competed in 6 meets total...half of them between April and August 2017.

I honestly don't care if I get an invitation for a meet someone else will pay for me to enter: I'm taking a break after this. If you are reading this Coach D: I need a break...no more meets for awhile. Let's focus on nutrition. Yes, I know I am going to deeply regret saying that, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there. Right now I just want assurances after I step off the platform following my third deadlift on August 19 I will be looking at some serious rest time. Not sure about a week off from the gym...there may be some negotiation about that (negotiation=whining on my part), but no meets on the horizon would be great.

I am a bundle of nerves right now. I cry at the drop of a hat...and I snap just as easily. Add to that Coach D and I are trying to get my weight down, not so I can enter a lower weight class (185 pounds isn't happening in 4 weeks), but so I can improve my Wilks Score.  The Wilks Score is calculated using the Wilks Formula (or if you're me by going to a website where I can just plug in my weight and 3-lift total and get the score).

If you care at all, this is what Google has to say about the Wilks Formula:
The Wilks Coefficient or Wilks Formula is a coefficient that can be used to measure the strength of a powerlifter against other powerlifters despite the different weights of the lifters. Robert Wilks, CEO of Powerlifting Australia, is the author of the formula. Now you know...I am sure your life has been improved immensely. Yeah sure...

Why do I care about my Wilks Score? I'm not really sure I do...except that if my Wilks Score is good enough I could be invited to apply to compete in The Arnold USAPL Raw Challenge. The score criteria right now is 405 for women. Of course I would also need a 2017 national meet under my belt too. We'll see...It's a dream.  For someone who knew nothing about powerlifting until September 2015 this has all been a whirlwind.

A friend recently told me I should keep my heart open to everything that's going on. She's probably right, she's a pretty wise person, but at the moment I find being open a little too scary for comfort. Yes, yes, I'm the one who goes on about comfort zones and how I won't grow if I don't leave mine, but sometimes I just need to learn to shut up!

So I've come across three choices I like for people in my life.
1. Motivate me.
2. Support me.
3. Get out of my way. (There are more colorful versions of option 3 online...but this one gets the point across just as well)

No harm, no foul if you choose option 3. If you choose one or two that's great. I will try to be supportive and do my best to motivate others, but it's probably more realistic for me to strive not to burst into tears and snap someone's head off right now. Not that I'm a complete raving basket case, but check back as August 19 approaches. It could be entertaining if you keep your distance.

I actually think I might adopt those three choices at all times in my life. If you want a place in my circle that's fine, but you don't get to tell me how to live MY life. Nor will I accept spewing venom and insecurities all over me. If I am uncomfortable in a situation and quieter than you like I am so sorry, but I am ALLOWED to feel the way I feel. If that is unacceptable to you don't waste your time.

The only person I can be is ME. I know I won't be enough for everyone. I know not everyone will like me. That is okay. I can accept that.

Thanks for reading!