I competed in my second powerlifting meet. The Master's and Women's Nationals hosted by Vermont Powerlifting at Crossfit Burlington. Despite a case of nerves that was worse than the nerves before my first meet I brought home more hardware. A first place trophy for my age group (Women, 45-49). I am proud as hell of that trophy, but I feel I must add that I was the only woman in my age group. Not to try and diminish my accomplishment, but I want to be honest.
When we got there there was a pretty long line of people waiting to check in so I joined them leaving my friends, thinking maybe I'd made a HUGE mistake and it wasn't too late to walk away and just go shopping. Never mind that there were at least 13 people coming to support me, not to mention two coaches who have given me A LOT of their time and expertise to be sure I would be as ready for the meet as I could possibly be. Fortunately before I could run away I got to the front of the line and was checking in. My first surprise was that the meet director remembered me. Me: the formerly shy, quiet wallflower. He asked me if "Team Kim" would be there to support me again. Then I was going to weigh in and one of the volunteers, who had competed in November asked me if I was nervous. When I answered yes she told me not to be, I had done a great job during my first meet.
Let's set the stage here. Growing up I was quiet, shy and much happier to be alone than in a group. In Kindergarten I preferred the block corner to the play house where all the other children seemed to want to be. I lost count of how many times my mother heard "She's a good student, but so quiet." at parent teacher conferences. In my freshman French class, Madame Leroy made a deal with me: If I raised my hand and volunteered once per class she wouldn't call on me. The quieter I could be the happier I was.
Not much has changed, I'm still not a chatterbox. I talk more than I used to, but I truly prefer to be quiet. I learn more when I don't talk. My coaches are probably thankful for that. I follow directions and try to keep the whining to a minimum. Of course inside my head is non-stop whining.
I thought being recognized by the meet director and one of the volunteers would be the end of it, but several other competitors recognized me and commented on my final deadlift from November. One even mentioned that she watched me lift and thought I could have pulled at least 30 pounds more that day. I guess I'm not going to be flying under the radar anymore.
The meet started with squats. At my first meet after my first squat I settled down, the nerves went away and I was focused on the present moment and what I needed to do. Not this time: I was still on edge and wanted to bolt. That's probably why I failed my second squat attempt, not because I couldn't squat 253 pounds, but because my mind wasn't in the game yet. I knew when I started coming up that I hadn't gotten to parallel. Not that I am an expert, but I know how it feels when I squat to parallel and I knew I hadn't done it. I came up anyway. At that moment my inner critic spoke up "This isn't your day, you suck: give up while you're ahead."
I shook it off, went to the head table to pick my third attempt. I decided on the same weight as my second attempt. I am pretty sure I could have done more, I probably should have gone heavier, but most of all I just wanted a successful squat. I wanted to shut the inner critic up, most of all I wanted the part of me that loves lifting heavy to wake up and come out to play. The beast was stubbornly silent.
My bench presses were better, the beast was at least stirring, though refusing to come play. I did bench press 154.32 pounds which is the most I'd done in a long while. My third attempt was 187 pounds, but I couldn't get it. No problem: I'll be trying it again soon I'm sure. The beast was finally showing some sign of stirring, because my favorite event was coming up: deadlifts.
Warming up for my deadlifts I felt myself starting to relax: this is the lift I love most. My first attempt was a weight I'd lifted at least a dozen times and I almost blew it. I didn't take the time to set my grip before I started pulling. Fortunately I was able to hold on and completed a successful, though less than graceful deadlift. I picked my second attempt with input from Coach Dane and we decided on 330 pounds. Coach Tyler reminded me to take my time and set my grip before pulling and I waited for my second deadlift. The second lift felt so much better and so much lighter. I set my grip and even better the beast was awake and ready to play.
My third deadlift attempt was 385.81 pounds, a PR of 0.81 pounds, but a PR nonetheless. It felt the lightest of my three attempts and I wish I'd gone heavier. I will be in my next meet. The head judge/meet director announced I would be lifting over 400 if I competed in November 2016. My coaches had similar things to say. I'm game: I want 400 pounds and I aim to have it.
I am proud of what I did. It was a rough start, I wanted to walk away, but I didn't. I proved to myself I have what it takes, even when I don't feel like I do.
I had the most AWESOME support from my friends. There were plenty of people at the meet, but there were also many people rooting for me from other locations. I got supportive texts and messages all day and I'd like to take a moment to thank each and every one of you.
I still don't see how I am an inspiration, but people I respect and admire keep telling me I am, so I guess it's time to stop questioning it and just go with it. I love lifting, I enjoy testing the limits of my courage and strength at meets so there will be more to come.
Before I end this I'd like to leave you with my numbers from Saturday. I'm getting closer to the 1000 pound club.
Squat: 115 kg (253.32 pounds)
Bench Press: 70 kg (154.34 pounds)
Deadlift: 175 kg (385.81 pounds)
Totals: 360 kg (793.66 pounds)
Only 206.34 pounds to go and I've made it to the 1000 pound club. Stay tuned.
To end, I'd like to give HUGE shout out to the people who made the trip to Burlington to cheer me on Saturday. Thank you all so much for being there to make a special day even better.
Thanks for reading!
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