Badass of the Year

This is a post I should have written a long time ago. Like on about December 29, 2013...the day after it was announced. I didn't though. I did say I'd been chosen, but I didn't do what I wanted to do and SCREAM it from the rooftops.

Why?

Good question.

Bad (though honest) answer: I didn't feel like I really deserved it. I looked at the other 2 nominees and felt like I just wasn't worthy. It was a "fluke". It's taken time, a lot of it, probably too much, but I realized how much I was insulting a man I deeply respect, trust, admire and consider a mentor and friend by thinking I was a "fluke". As he told me himself  "I don't do flukes". So let me take this opportunity to say I am sorry, I don't doubt you.

So, I was picked the badass of the year. What does that mean exactly? It means I get my training free for 6 months, I got to pick an article of clothing I wanted, I was able to choose a workout that will bear my name (YAY! people can curse me for a whole new reason!!).

It also means even those days when I wonder if I am invisible my instructors see me and they see what I am doing. What a concept: I really do matter and I am worth every second I spend on myself in the studio. Huh...that could take some time to sink in.

I thought announcing how happy I was to receive this honor would make me conceited and I'd be bragging about myself. Bragging about yourself was not encouraged when I was growing up. I never knew when I would be praised for doing well, or when, after one too many drinks, my father would find it helpful to point out all of my faults. I'm not bashing him: he did the best he could, but still...it was hurtful to put it mildly.

I'm pretty sure as long as I don't decide to wear a cape with BotY emblazoned on the back, and tell every person I meet that I'm the badass of the year I'll be okay. It's not going to go to my head, I'm just not that kind of person.

I'm honored and flattered, but I also know that every single person I work out with is just as deserving of praise and recognition as I am. The other two nominees are phenomenal, amazing women who inspire me to fight harder and be better every time I step through the door.

I'm going to do my best to be a good representative of Fortitude Fitness Systems. I will work hard every time I step into the studio. I won't shrink from any challenge presented to me: I'll trust that those that work with me wouldn't ask me to do something they thought was wildly out of my ability level. I'll be grateful for the opportunities I have been given and look for ways to pay it forward. Saying thank you is important too, but I don't just want to say the words: I want to show how thankful I am to the people who support and believe in me.

Most of all, I want to shed the rest of the fat I've used to shield myself from the world and everyone in it. Yes, I will probably get knocked around and bruised. Yep, I'm sure there will be heartbreak and meanness. I will probably feel very sad and down about those things, but I have a core group of people around me who will tell me to "cut the shit", encourage me and adjust my attitude by any means necessary (be it lifting heavy, flipping things, pushing things or getting out the valslides). I owe it to those people and most importantly, to MYSELF to be the person I was put on this earth to be.

Stay tuned...Kim 2.0 is on her way.

Thanks for reading.