Looking Forward

Five days into 2013 and I'm committing to stop looking back and start focusing on here and now. All the worry and obsessing in the world isn't going to change the past, so time to let it go.

It's been a good week. More stress than I like at work, but much of that stress is self-imposed. I'm in a new job with a learning curve that doesn't really curve, it just goes straight up. I, of course, want to be perfect so my administrators won't regret giving me the job. Neither of them has expressed any dissatisfaction with me so that worry is something I manufactured on my own too. Isn't it great when you can sit back, look at your fears and realize how ridiculous they are, but can't stop yourself from feeling that way?

Back to bootcamp last week after a down week and end of year measurements (see previous post for those if you wish). I found a squat and pushup challenge for January while I was trolling around on Facebook, so I'm doing that too. This week will be the beginning of classes at the Wellness Center, I signed up for All-Star Workout and Yogalaties and I'm excited to get started. Definitely continuing with bootcamp and personal training. Some of my colleagues are beginning a weight loss/exercise group at work and I plan to join in on that when I can. The weight loss part I will skip, I'm really going to try and get over my obsession/hate relationship with the scale this year, but I'm all for new and different workouts.

So, since I've gathered you all here with another blog post let me ask you a serious question: Do I REALLY look different? No- I am NOT looking for praise or to have my ego stroked. I am serious. I see minute changes when I look in the mirror or see pictures of myself, but I don't see anything major. I am thrilled with how much better I feel...so most of the time I ignore the fact that I don't see changes in my body. Every once in awhile though it bothers me. How skewed is my perception of myself that I can't see anything?

I honestly am not expecting anyone to sit me down and detail all the changes they see, I don't even want that. I just want you to know if you compliment me and my response seems confused or embarrassed it's not false modesty: I really don't see what you see. I'm bright enough to know I might never see what any of you do and as I said, usually I am okay with that. As long as that fragile little spark of hope and confidence keeps growing I'm going to be just fine.

I've seen a quote a number of times recently (as a friend would tell me, that's a flashing neon billboard sign, so it might be wise to pay attention). "Other people's opinion of you is none of your business". It's one I'm trying to remember more often.

Here's another quote for you, one that stopped me dead in my tracks yesterday morning and got my attention: “Your biggest challenge isn’t someone else. It’s the ache in your legs and the voice inside that yells can’t, but don’t listen. You just push harder and then you hear the voice whisper can and you discover that the person you thought you were is no match for the person you really are.” ~Unknown 

This year will be about continuing the progress started last year, building on success, learning from less successful ventures and always remembering to step outside my comfort zone so I can grow.

In the spirit of stepping outside my comfort zone I will  compete in Tough Mudder on August 10, 2013 with a group of friends. Other than those 2 adventures I plan to enter more 5Ks and improve my time. My goal is to be able to complete a 5K in 30 minutes or less by December 2013.

So...I'm off and running.

Thanks for reading!