I ran another 5K on Sunday. The Annual Fall Foliage Run to benefit the Old Stone House Museum. I had new sneakers and I was feeling confident. Well, that confidence lasted until my shins started to ache, then my breathing got off and it went downhill from there. I still have not mastered continuing to run when my mind is convinced I need to stop. My body is definitely stronger and capable of being pushed more than I do push when I run. I'll push in bootcamp with no problems-Now I need to bring that to my running.
It got me thinking HARD about things. I finished the 5K in 50:15 and I said I was proud of that. I know I should be, but that's where the problem is. I KNOW I should be proud of myself, I know where I came from. The problem is I want to be at the end NOW! I'm not saying I mind the hard work. When I don't work out I feel out-of-sorts, like I'm letting someone down. Not that I'm letting myself down, but someone else. It feels completely selfish to say I workout because I enjoy it. I always want to give some deep, meaningful reason, like doing something for myself just isn't okay.
While I was running or at some point after I must have strained or woken up some weak muscles in my lower back. Monday morning I was standing at the kitchen sink getting my water for the day when my lower back seized up. If you've experienced that before you know what I'm talking about and you are probably wincing right now. If you have never felt that I hope you don't, it hurt and I have a pretty high pain threshold (just ask, I ignore or hide sprained ankles and broken toes to keep working out. Not recommended by the way) . I have been trying to be more careful and use ice and heat to treat sore muscles instead of diving into the ibuprofen bottle, but Monday morning when I finally felt like I could move I took 6 tablets and hoped it would work fast (Yes, that was 1200 mg. of Ibuprofen. I don't recommend it, but I was desperate for relief).
Monday passed and as long as I didn't stand still or sit for too long I was okay. The funny thing, though I'm sure someone more knowledgeable than me could explain it, is my back didn't bother me at all during bootcamp at 5:30 am or at 6:15 pm when I went to All-Star Workout. Any other time it was a balancing act not to sit or stand for too long. I kept moving as much as I could so I wouldn't have to deal with the pain.
Tuesday I could sit and stand normally with only a few twinges to remind me I did something. Bootcamp was fine, no pain, but a ton of sweat. Personal training wasn't so fine. Those copper kettlebells just were not coming up for double KB squats and it made me angry and upset. I was reminded several times that sometimes it's not about pushing the weight. Yes, I know, but I WANT to push the weight. I listened to my trainer and what I did do I think I did darn well. I got to try Rope Climbs again and anyone who has been reading this blog for awhile knows my first personal training session with rope climbs resulted in me huddled on the floor crying. Not on Tuesday night: I might have struggled with them, but I could do 6 reps.
Wednesday morning I did something I don't often do. I took a break. I slept later and didn't panic that I had missed bootcamp. I'm pretty sure no one is going to tell me I'm through and I've been kicked out of bootcamp for getting some rest. Plus I knew I had Warrior Class coming at 6 pm.
Warrior Class was wonderful as always. My back feels almost back to normal and the twinges were a good reminder to use my legs and knees to lift those kettlebells, not my back. I know I've heard that before...but you may have noticed I have to learn a lot of lessons the hard way.
So what can I take away from my experiences this week?
1. I have a lot to be proud of myself for and I need to acknowledge that.
2. It really is okay to say I workout for myself and how good it makes me feel. I feel strong and powerful now, instead of weak and mousy: I should enjoy that.
3. I need to keep running and practicing.
4. I am blessed beyond belief to have friends who love me even when I am less than lovable.
5. Taking a break is not the end of the world.
I'll let you get back to your regularly scheduled evening now.
Thanks for reading!
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