Welcome Back?

The 2012-2013 school year is officially underway for teachers. Our first day of inservice was Wednesday. I began my morning at 5:30 am with a bootcamp class. The workout was Betty Lou (formerly 2 for 20). You have 2 minutes to get through a list of 5 exercises and if you finish early you can rest until the next 2 minute interval starts. Would you care to hazard a guess about how many times in 10 rounds I finished and had time to rest. Exactly 2 times. The first time I got 5 seconds, the second about 3 seconds.

I am NOT complaining in case you wondered. If I had tried that workout 8 months ago I wouldn't have made it and no way would I have been doing squat presses or renegade rows with 25 pound weights. It's probably time to move up to 30 pounds, but I tend to hang on to the weight I've been using until an instructor tells me to up it. I can and do push myself more often, but there's still that fear in the back of my mind that I won't be able to do it.

Then it was rush home shower and dress for inservice. Choosing clothes is so easy with about 5 wardrobe choices. Don't worry, I do have plans to add to my wardrobe, but it will be slow. I'm not going to go spend a lot of money on clothes that I don't plan to wear for long. I don't always know how to dress this new body and as often happens when I'm unsure I hesitate or do nothing.

I did manage to get dressed and I was only a couple of minutes late for the 7:30 am start time. I could have been on time or a little early, but I procrastinate and don't prep my lunch ahead of time. I'll learn...someday I will learn.

It was a little uncomfortable for someone who used to fly under the radar. I got so many compliments about how wonderful I am looking. I am pretty sure I said thank you to every person who complimented me, but if you are reading this and I didn't thank you: I apologize! I appreciate everyone who takes the time to tell me I am looking good. I feel so much better, it's amazing.

I did get one "compliment" that sort of threw me. Actually it wasn't given directly to me. It was given to a friend and she told me about it. Someone asked if I had Lap-Band surgery over the summer.

I want to start off by making it clear that I have NOTHING against surgery. Nothing at all. I know people who have had Lap-Band surgery as well as others who have had gastric bypass surgery. I think the decision to have surgery or not is personal and everyone needs to decide what is right for them. I chose to really commit myself to eating correctly (most of the time) and exercising as much as I can. I am not saying my way is the best and only way: I'm saying it's working for me and I couldn't be happier. I'm not getting up on a soapbox and preaching my way over any other way. I'm indulging my lifelong desire to be a writer and maybe (hopefully) letting other people know it is possible to transform your life.

Yes, when I first heard about that question I was hurt. Really hurt in fact. I'm not hurt anymore. I am flattered that someone thought I looked that good.

I also had Warrior Class last night. I love that class. I get to lift and move and push myself beyond what I think I can do.  I did double kettlebell squats with the red kettlebells. Yes, Tyler had to help me lift them, but I did the squats. Then we did Sumo deadlifts and sled pulls. By the time class ended I was finished, but it felt good.

I noticed again that things that used to be really hard (sometimes they felt impossible) like Bear Crawls, Plate Pushes and Sled Pulls aren't as difficult. They're not easy, but I can do it. When I dig deep now there is strength to pull out. Not always very much strength, but something to pull out.

I almost hit the wall tonight with Pile On. It was a tough workout and I went in sore from yesterday. Then I compounded the problem by bear crawling right into a 25 pound dumbbell. It hurt at the time and I've broken my toes enough to know how it feels, but I am above all stubborn. It wasn't intense pain and I wanted the workout. My left knee was achy too, probably from so much sitting today so I had to make some modifications to baby it a little, but I was not stopping.

By the end of the workout I had my nose pressed against the wall and the tears were threatening to spill over. I was worn out and sore, but I held it together. I was proud for finishing and then I got top performer. I did not expect that at all. I never expect it, I don't really see my performance as standing out. I focus inward and try to keep the nagging, doubting voice at bay. That, I am happy to report, is getting easier. I can silence that nasty little voice now. Not always, but more often than not.

So what did I learn from my past 2 days?

1. Make sure the weights are out of the way!
2. A compliment is a compliment, even if it doesn't sound like it at first.
3. I have been working in the same school for 3 years now and I STILL get nervous before the first day.
4. This isn't the life I planned, but it is an amazing gift I won't squander.

Thanks for reading...I appreciate it.