Day 9

I've been thinking a lot about why I wanted this opportunity so much the last few days. I've always been the "fat girl". I don't remember a time I could ever shop in the regular women's sizes for clothing. It's always been the plus size department for me.


Do you want to know what excites me most about this transformation? Imagining the day I can walk into a store and into the woman's department and buy something there!


A close second would be becoming stronger.


I've also always been the "too sensitive" one. If there is a way to misread intentions or actions I'll find it. Somehow I got the idea I'm not worth much. I'm a hard worker, a good friend, a good teacher but those labels were bestowed on me by other people. I want to be strong enough to know who I am and how much worth I have. I want to be strong enough to see myself as other people see me. I want to be strong enough to have people notice me and not want to run and hide.


I want to be strong.


So to that end I push myself: I will hold the pose or do one more rep. I might stop for a break thinking I can't do one more, but I try. Am I always successful? No, I'm not perfect and that's okay. I am making progress, I will continue to make progress.


Someday, the day will come when I will see this person others tell me I am. She sounds like a person I'd really like to know.


So, now that I'm past the bare my soul moment in my blog I suppose you'd like to know what I've been up to in the past 2 days. Read on...


Monday
Engine 8
~Wow did this one kick my butt. Valslider crawls, planks, offset walking lunges, renegade rows and others I can't remember right now. It was a hard workout, but I felt good when I was done. I didn't even mind the foam roller (though I have to tell you, that roller sure doesn't feel like it's made of foam!)


Tuesday
Fight Gone Bad
~Another toughie, but it felt good. Even when I couldn't complete another rep and had to take a break to puke I was glad I was doing this.  One of these days I'll pay more attention in class and actually be able to tell you what we did.


Semi-private training
Let me say at the beginning, I won't be doing 2 in a row again for a little bit. I surprised myself though: I had something left to give during training. Theresa was a great partner: encouraging and supportive. I hope I was as good! We did  dead lifts, squat presses with kettlebells, walking lunges with the same kettlebell, then battle ropes and another round with those valsliders.


With that I am going to go to go soak my tired muscles. Thank you for reading and taking the time to join me on my journey.