The Journey Continues: USA Powerlifting Northeast Regional Championships-Take Three

My tenth trip to the platform was on July 28, 2019 at Mohegan Sun Casino in Uncasville, Connecticut. I was coming off a week's vacation. This was my 7th time on a USA Powerlifting platform facing my biggest competition: the woman in the mirror every day. She's relentless, she knows every weakness, and she knows exactly what to say to make me doubt my training and abilities.

She almost had me too. My first two squats weren't to depth. I got inside my head and worried whether or not I would hit depth. Before my third attempt I asked the USA Powerlifting official who was telling us when it was time to go on the platform if I could continue the meet if I failed my last squat. She said of course I could, but I wouldn't get a total for the meet. Then she asked if she could give me some advice. She told me I needed to get out of my head, that my body knew exactly what it needed to do and my overthinking was getting in the way of that. She told me not to think, to trust my training, trust my body and just do it.

I stepped on the platform, I got under the bar and silently snarled at the nasty bitch in my head to shut up. I wanted a total for the meet and I was going to get one. I don't know that my last squat was picture perfect, but I got 2 out of 3 white lights so it was a good lift. I was in the meet, finally. I was in the game.

Bench Press was next. My first two lifts were good, my last I couldn't get to lockout. It was 180 pounds, something I've pressed in the gym with no problem. I know what the issue was. I lost tension while I was waiting for the press command. To fix that I plan to train with the commands every time I bench. There will be a pause on my chest, I will learn to keep the tension until I get the press command. I have learned to use leg drive, I will learn to keep the tension and I will improve my bench press.

Deadlift was up next. This was the time I had been waiting for. I have worked so hard on my deadlift. So many cues to keep in mind: shoulders' back, start pulling the bar at midfoot, take the slack out of the bar before I pull, sit back on my heels, push the ground away, and pull that bar. I could almost hear Coach T2's voice in my head yelling the last one, just like he did when I pulled 405# for the first time at Pride. My first deadlift was a good lift. I'd done it: I'd finally put everything together and fixed my deadlift. My second deadlift felt good too and I had a decision to make for my third attempt. Was I going to ignore my tight back and go for 451# and possibly hit the goal I wanted to hit in May before Coach Brandon moved or would I be reasonable and go for a meet PR of 440#? I decided on the meet PR. I have another meet in December and then it will be time to throw caution to the wind and see where it leads.

My total for the meet was 953#...I am only 47 pounds from hitting 1000 pounds in a meet. So close and it will be mine. A few pounds added to my deadlift, a few pounds added to my squat and a few pounds added to my bench press and I will have it. It is only a number, one thousand pounds, but it is a number I have dreamed of and worked toward for a long time. Ever since the first time I stepped onto a platform in November 2015 I have wanted that number to be mine.

Will it make me more worthy? No, I have always been worthy. Will I suddenly trust my training and abilities? Probably not, that's a battle that won't be easily won, but one I won't ever stop fighting. What it will do is help me to realize that if I set my mind to something and if I give my best effort I can meet any goal. And...I kind of think it will make my coach proud and let's face it...as a former teacher's pet making the coach proud does matter to me. Even more importantly though it will make ME proud.

Were there lessons I learned at this meet? Of course. Let's see if I can frame some of them in a coherent fashion for anyone who has ventured to read this far.

1. "Whatever it takes" is a promise to myself as much as a promise to a coach. When I told Coach Collins I was committed whatever it takes I didn't truly realize what that meant. I have discovered it means training when I am tired, sore, grieving, so angry I can't see straight, and when I am afraid. It means trusting and being open with my coach when it would be much easier to put up the walls and retreat. It means giving the same effort to working on my weaknesses as I do to my big 3.

2. I have an amazing support crew. Why would anyone give up a weekend relaxing to sit in a heavily air conditioned room, in pretty uncomfortable chairs to watch me lift for a grand total of about 15 minutes? I guess they like me...really, really like me.

3. My coach is incredible. There have been times leading up to my meet when I wondered if he was tired of me. If he wished he'd given up on me or told me to walk away. I have no idea the pressures and stresses he faces and yet he trains me, he listens to me, and he is genuinely happy when I succeed. I think he even kind of enjoys seeing me...when I am not being a complete pain in his ass.

4. A gold medal is nice, but spending time with friends is even better. I had a weekend with people I adore. I got to spend my time at the meet with people who were so kind and supportive behind the scenes. I worked hard for that medal, I am thrilled with it, but the relationships are the real prize.

5. Nothing about powerlifting is easy and I am completely addicted.

Now that I've processed this meet it is time to get back to training and improving so I can be even better in December.

Here are a few pics before I let you get back to your lives.