Coach T. For all intents and purposes, even if he is 20 years younger than me, this is the person I look to as one of the father figures in my life. This is not to say I go to him with every last thought, question, worry, fear, craziness in my life. The poor man would never have time for anything else if I didn't exercise a little restraint in my communications. I try to be reasonable and not demand too much, he's one person and I am an adult, I can handle some stuff on my own.
You may recall after my last meet that the one who asks me the tough questions asked me what I'd learned and what I intended to do with that knowledge. One of the things I learned was that I need to trust without reservation. That led me to realizing that as much as I admire and appreciate Coach T, I was not quite trusting without reservation. Part of that is just who I am: I'm reserved and quiet by nature. Another part of it is, let's be honest, I am in awe of this man. I don't think I have ever seen anything he doesn't do well, I mean that I am not just saying it. I consider him one of my heroes. I trusted him, but only to the point it got really uncomfortable for me. I can't train that way, and it is not fair to him in any way. He gives me his all: I have to return that. I am working on that and I feel there's been a huge difference in my training. I'm not perfect, not by a long stretch, but I put everything I have to give into my sessions now. I suspect he sees the difference, but even if he doesn't: I feel it. I am 100% committed to the process, whatever it takes, not just committed until it gets too hard.
We had a conversation several months back that I don't think I'll forget. He was honest with me, as he's always been. Some of the things he had to say hurt and I got angry in the moment. Then I felt sad: I never set out to hurt anyone, never. I am, as he said, "emotional". I am slow to warm up to people, but when I do I throw myself in heart and soul. I have a really hard time letting go even when I need to. I cling to people, things and situations I feel comfortable with tenaciously. Our talk made me realize that's not healthy and by clinging and trying to stick my head in the sand I miss things that are likely much better for me. I never thanked him for his honesty, it couldn't have been easy, but he put it all on the line. I won't forget that. I would also like to apologize here and now: I never meant to cause hurt. In my own struggle I forgot other people are impacted by my actions. Now it's time to move forward.
Growth and change is a part of life. If I'm stubbornly holding onto the past I can't grow. I'm past the point in my powerlifting training where PRs come often and easily. I've gone from the time when a jump of 15+ pounds in a lift was commonplace to recognizing that a PR of 5 pounds is cause for celebration. Now I need a coach who recognizes my weaknesses and fills in those cracks in the foundation. One who expects me to give even more than I've given before. One who pushes me past what I think is possible to show me my mind is my biggest limiting factor. And yes, I even need the one who asks hard questions and expects thoughtful, honest answers.
This is my story, I'm writing the chapters. With that said, I like knowing there are people out there I can turn to for guidance, support, or a kick in the butt, whatever the situation warrants. I may not have had that support before, but I have it now. I have men in my life worthy of trust. I have men in my life who deserve 100% of what I have to give. Eric, Gregg, Barry, Norm, Pat, Coach B, Coach C, Ben, and most especially Coach T you have earned my trust and my gratitude for being the men you are. I value each and every one of you more than I can say.
As for you Coach T let's keep making me the best powerlifter I am capable of being. Thank you for showing me the meaning of leaving it all on the mat or, in my case, on the platform by your leadership and example. Thank you for your time, expertise, faith in me, and boundless patience. For my part I will be sure you get a new, much better client than you've had before, hopefully you've seen some of that already. It's a new day, time to move forward.
Thanks for reading!
You may recall after my last meet that the one who asks me the tough questions asked me what I'd learned and what I intended to do with that knowledge. One of the things I learned was that I need to trust without reservation. That led me to realizing that as much as I admire and appreciate Coach T, I was not quite trusting without reservation. Part of that is just who I am: I'm reserved and quiet by nature. Another part of it is, let's be honest, I am in awe of this man. I don't think I have ever seen anything he doesn't do well, I mean that I am not just saying it. I consider him one of my heroes. I trusted him, but only to the point it got really uncomfortable for me. I can't train that way, and it is not fair to him in any way. He gives me his all: I have to return that. I am working on that and I feel there's been a huge difference in my training. I'm not perfect, not by a long stretch, but I put everything I have to give into my sessions now. I suspect he sees the difference, but even if he doesn't: I feel it. I am 100% committed to the process, whatever it takes, not just committed until it gets too hard.
We had a conversation several months back that I don't think I'll forget. He was honest with me, as he's always been. Some of the things he had to say hurt and I got angry in the moment. Then I felt sad: I never set out to hurt anyone, never. I am, as he said, "emotional". I am slow to warm up to people, but when I do I throw myself in heart and soul. I have a really hard time letting go even when I need to. I cling to people, things and situations I feel comfortable with tenaciously. Our talk made me realize that's not healthy and by clinging and trying to stick my head in the sand I miss things that are likely much better for me. I never thanked him for his honesty, it couldn't have been easy, but he put it all on the line. I won't forget that. I would also like to apologize here and now: I never meant to cause hurt. In my own struggle I forgot other people are impacted by my actions. Now it's time to move forward.
Growth and change is a part of life. If I'm stubbornly holding onto the past I can't grow. I'm past the point in my powerlifting training where PRs come often and easily. I've gone from the time when a jump of 15+ pounds in a lift was commonplace to recognizing that a PR of 5 pounds is cause for celebration. Now I need a coach who recognizes my weaknesses and fills in those cracks in the foundation. One who expects me to give even more than I've given before. One who pushes me past what I think is possible to show me my mind is my biggest limiting factor. And yes, I even need the one who asks hard questions and expects thoughtful, honest answers.
This is my story, I'm writing the chapters. With that said, I like knowing there are people out there I can turn to for guidance, support, or a kick in the butt, whatever the situation warrants. I may not have had that support before, but I have it now. I have men in my life worthy of trust. I have men in my life who deserve 100% of what I have to give. Eric, Gregg, Barry, Norm, Pat, Coach B, Coach C, Ben, and most especially Coach T you have earned my trust and my gratitude for being the men you are. I value each and every one of you more than I can say.
As for you Coach T let's keep making me the best powerlifter I am capable of being. Thank you for showing me the meaning of leaving it all on the mat or, in my case, on the platform by your leadership and example. Thank you for your time, expertise, faith in me, and boundless patience. For my part I will be sure you get a new, much better client than you've had before, hopefully you've seen some of that already. It's a new day, time to move forward.
Thanks for reading!
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