Where Have You Been??

Two weeks with no new post...why not?

I could tell you I was busy. I could tell you I didn't have anything to say.

Or I could just be honest and tell you I was too damn lazy to make an attempt to organize the craziness inside my head into some semblance of order.

Yeah, let's just go with honesty, it's easier that way.

It seems Fall has finally arrived. I love Fall for the most part, the leaves change colors, the weather is cooler. Also for the sake of being honest the increasing number of gray cloudy days are perfect for napping. I love naps...I can't believe I hated them so much as a little kid. The only thing I don't really like about Fall is knowing winter is coming. Yes I live in northern Vermont by choice, but truly cold weather does not excite me. 20 is okay, I don't even whine too much about 10, but when we start creeping into the single digits and below zero I am tempted to hibernate.

I didn't always feel this way. At my heaviest the cold didn't bother me. I was well insulated. Let's be honest, at about 188 I am still pretty well insulated, but I sure notice the cold more now than I used to.

I love Christmas, so until the holiday season is over I'm usually good with winter. After the new year I'm done with it.

All right, I'm done whining about the seasons, nothing I can change there. So let's move on to the purpose of this blog: my fitness journey.

I don't think it's just me, maybe it is, but ever since the USAPL Northeast Regional Championships it feels like everything is an uphill climb. I'd ask Coach D, but since he is always honest with me and I'm not sure I want to know the truth I'll just live happily in denial. Who am I kidding? I won't ask because I know it's been rough and I don't need someone else telling me that.

I'm struggling mentally and physically. I try not to complain, I don't want my friends getting sick of me. I paste on the smile, pull up my big girl pants, square my shoulders and get it done as best I can. "Fake it 'til you make it" is kind of my new motto at the moment.

I know why it's hard right now. Coach D knows too, because (LUCKY HIM), I told him. He claims when he signed on to train me he knew what he was signing on for. I'm not sure he knew the full story before I spilled my guts, but now he does. He hasn't told me he's passing my training back to Coach T, so I'm hoping he still thinks I'm worth the effort he's putting in.

Physically I think I'm just tired. From April to August I competed in 3 powerlifting meets. Prior to that I had done one in November 2015, one in April 2016 and one in November 2016. Plenty of time in between to rest, recover, plan and train. Between my three meets in 2017 there was time to train and rest, but probably not as much time as my 47 year old body wanted. Plus add in that Coach D and I have been hammering nutrition and I'm down many pounds since the start of 2017. I am having to build my strength back up right now and that feels odd. A little scary too since I'm being honest.

I am strong, that's part of who I am. When a 405 pound deadlift feels hard anxiety and fear start crawling up my spine. Coach D told me it would happen, but I was hoping maybe I could be an exception to the rule. At least now I can say I see the strength building again and the anxiety is backing off just a little.

My training schedule has changed a little too. Due to my work schedule Monday morning Pride Fit classes weren't fitting in any longer. Fortunately Coach D added in a Monday Muscle Hour class in the early evening so I go to that. Tuesdays I added in a 5:30 am spinning class, because I need cardio in my life and when I tried spinning I didn't hate it (I actually kind of liked it, but shhh...we'll keep that our secret). Another thing missing from my training and something I sorely missed was more training with Coach T. I do have Yoga Corr with him, but I wanted another class too. Wednesday evenings he does a mobility/stability/core class: I asked Coach D if I could add that and got the okay. So now I have two classes per week with Coach T (insert HUGE smiley face). Last week I also joined in the Wednesday Muscle Hour again. It was good to be back.

So what is my fitness schedule looking like now? Let's be honest: the gym is my second home and I have been pretty fierce about protecting my time there from any and all interference (just ask my managers: I'm flexible in a lot of ways, but not about my availability).

Monday: Muscle Hour ~Coach D
Tuesday: Spinning ~Tara
               Personal Training ~Coach D
               Yoga Corr ~Coach T
Wednesday:  Mobility ~Coach T
                     Muscle Hour ~Coach D
Thursday: Buddy Training ~Coach D
Friday: Flex Friday ~Coach D

Yeah, I'm looking at that and thinking Coach D spends a WHOLE lot of time with me in a week. Poor guy, at least I try to be a good client and I provide the occasional bribe. The part of the schedule that makes me smile: two classes with Coach T. Sometimes he joins us for Flex Friday and Muscle Hour classes too: working out with him is as much fun as training with him. Heck, let's just gush and say I love everyone I get to train with. NO, I am not asking them how they feel about training me: that whole honesty thing and all.

I know the struggle I am feeling currently will end. There will eventually be another meet to train for and I will get the mental stuff squared away again (or at least stuffed back in the dark corner of my mind where I can ignore it).

Thanks for reading!