Why I Lift

I follow a page on Facebook called "Girls Who Powerlift". If you have any interest in powerlifting at all, check them out. There are some interesting articles as well as profiles of female powerlifters. One of the things that caught my attention was videos of members talking about why they lift. Not that any of you have asked for that, but it's been on my mind, so I decided I'd write my own list. I'm not going to make a video or anything like that. I'm much better with the written word. When I speak I stutter, stumble over my words and lose my train of thought.

So here goes. My answers to why I lift.


1. I found myself.
I am someone who has spent the majority of her life worrying more about making other people happy than what would make me happy. I often let people tell me what I was doing and when I was doing it. I didn't think it was a big deal, me being happy wasn't important, making other people happy was much more important. Even if making someone else happy made me feel bad that was okay.

Excuse my language, but to HELL with that! To accomplish what I would like to I need to devote time and energy to myself. It took time, it induced A LOT of guilt, but I finally figured out that my wants are just as important as anyone else's. In fact, I've discovered that sometimes it is just fine for me to ask for what I want and to expect to get it. Not every time, I am not a diva, but there have been times recently when I have stood by what I want. Those closest to me will tell you it was hard for me to stand firm, that it took a lot of talking and reminding on their part to get me to stand my ground, but I did it.

I lift because the person I found when I stepped up to that bar intrigued me. She might be scared, her heart is thundering in her ears, but she knows what to do. She knows what to do and she does it.

This person doesn't think she's better than anyone else. In fact, that doesn't remotely matter to her. Her job is to be better than she was the time before and that is all that she cares about. I have discovered I am competitive, but I also want everyone else to do well. I cheer for those I compete against and I am as excited for their PRs and successes as I am for mine.


2. I feel competent.
I am unfamiliar with this feeling. In my other life I am a teacher. I just finished my 16th year of teaching as a matter of fact and I can tell you that in that time, other than my first year when I was sure I knew everything, I have felt competent a handful of times. The question I hate most in interviews? When they say "So tell us why we should hire you?" Seriously?! I haven't ever said it but it is so tempting to reply with "I won't whine and argue when you load me down with way too much work. I'll volunteer for everything under the sun so you won't figure out I have no damn idea what I am doing."

When I lift I feel competent. Maybe I won't pull every bar to lockout and sometimes my squats don't hit parallel, but I still know what I'm doing. I know what I can do to make the next time better. I don't worry my coaches will think I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm upfront with both of them: if I don't get it I say so, I ask for a demo and I won't soldier on if I'm unsure: I'll ask for a spotter or for one of them to watch me. Part of that is the promise I made to one of them to always be honest, but another part of it is being certain enough in my competence to know when I need more help.


3. I like being strong.
There, I said it. I like being strong. I like how it feels. I like knowing when I need to lift the 44 pound box of cat litter, the bag of mulch or the lawnmower I'm going to be able to do it. I like being asked to help move one of the benches at Pride if it is needed in a different location. It's flattering to hear "Okay, Kim and guys: you'll be deadlifting 245 pounds".  Being strong means I can take care of myself and those I care about.

The physical strength has come with a new awareness of my mental strength. I know I have what I need to get through any situation. I suspect I've always had the mental strength, but I didn't trust it before now. I don't always trust it now if I'm being honest but I know the strength is there when I'm done completely freaking out or feeling out of control. When the initial panic subsides I suck in a deep breath, let it out slowly, square my shoulders and get my fierce face on: I'm a warrior, I've got this.

Photo courtesy of Jenice Churchill Photography. Be Your Own Hero concept courtesy of Tyler Tinker

One more thing before I go. I set a new deadlift PR on June 14. 395 pounds! I still grin when I think about that. I tried 405 pounds first and as much as I wanted it I got the bar about a foot off the floor, but I couldn't bring it to lock out. I was bummed about that and Tyler told me to take a walk and get a drink. He removed some plates so I would only be attempting 395 while I was focusing myself. I won't say 395 was easy, it wasn't, but I got it to lock out. YES!  So now the total of all my lifts is 870 pounds (275+200+395= 870). Only 130 pounds to go before I hit 1000 pounds total.

Thanks for reading!