What Not to Wear

This isn't the post I planned to write when I sat down, but it's been on my mind. There's no time like the present, right?

I was industrious this weekend. Not only did I make lots of Christmas cookies and vacuum the house top to bottom, I did three loads of laundry. As I was folding my clothes it dawned on me I have no idea how to dress myself. Yes, I manage to go through each day with clothes on, but I have NO idea whatsoever if what I choose looks good. I have two new-to-me sweaters I wore last week and I was SO uncomfortable in them. People made it a point to tell me how good they looked and all I wanted to do was whine and tell them how much I just wanted my big, baggy sweaters back.

You see, until not too long ago clothes were camouflage and something to put on to keep my body covered. I didn't care if it looked good: I wanted to be covered. If the clothing wasn't pretty it was no problem: I didn't feel pretty, I didn't care if I looked pretty.

I wouldn't go so far as to say I feel pretty now, but I have taken an interest in clothing. It started with wanting t-shirts that fit. There's nothing like putting a 2XL shirt on to workout and realizing in the middle of bear crawls that everyone in the studio would know what your bra looked like if they were paying attention. So now I have clothing I can wear and not be the FFS flasher.

My attention has turned to my work wardrobe now. That 3XL sweater is a nice color, but it swims on me. I still wear it, but I know I could do better. I feel sometimes like I'm doing my body a disservice by just throwing on whatever clothes I pull out of the closet.

And I have a confession...on weekends, when I have no intention of leaving the house I have a 5XL sweatshirt I pull out to wear. Yes, I said 5XL. I'm pretty sure I could go camping with all of my friends and use that sweatshirt as a tent. It's huge, not in the least flattering and if you ask me to give it up I will fight you tooth and nail to hang onto it.

Why? Why is that enormous old sweatshirt so important to me? Simply put it's about comfort and safety. It's time to let it go: yes I need to feel comfortable and safe, but I can find those feelings with my friends and family. I'm not convinced I'm quite ready to give up the old, baggy clothing yet, but as I told someone on Friday I'm never going to accomplish anything if I don't step outside my comfort zone.

I'm all about stepping away from comfort zones in other areas of my life to see what waits beyond. It's time to do that with my clothes as well. I have some good friends (saints really) who have agreed to go shopping with me sometime after the holidays and help me find clothes that look good and make me feel good too.  I don't have to like it, I just have to take that step with an open mind.

My next post will very likely be the one I planned to write tonight. Year two of this journey is coming to an end. I'd like to reflect on the year and you're welcome to come along if you have nothing better to do.

Thanks for reading!