Work In Progress

I posted 2 days ago, so what could I possibly have to say today? Quite a lot as it turns out.

Hi! I'm Kim and I'm a perfectionist. Actually one of the founding members and the Vice President of a group a friend and I have decided to start: Perfectionists Anonymous.

Not that my perfectionist bent is news to me, but I've never had the lesson brought home in such a powerful way as today. Don't worry...you'll get all the details. This is my diary after all and you get me: the good, the bad and the ugly.

Monday is a 5:30 am bootcamp day. Normally that is wonderful and I look forward to it. Last night I could not shut off my mind long enough to get much sleep so I was cranky when I got up. Even the dog looked at me this morning and decided he had urgent business in a different part of the house. As much as I love Seb it's possible he is not the smartest dog in the world so for him to notice I was not in a good mood was significant.

I arrived at bootcamp almost late (a theme for the day...<SIGH>) and started warming up. No problems yet, though holding the bird dog planks still eludes me. Then the workout: Ladders. Lots of exercises I'm not so good at, or have never done before and some kettle bell and dumb bell moves I don't mind at all.

Side Star Planks were not something I had ever tried before today. Side planks sure, those aren't my favorite, but I can do them. Got my arm up and my legs felt like they were glued together. The instructor reminded us we were supposed to have 1 leg up and I snapped right back "YES WE PROBABLY SHOULD!" Instant shame...Ugh...what did I say that for? I NEVER speak to instructors that way...ever. I just don't do it.

Most of the day I thought about that comment and my rotten attitude after that. Did I celebrate doing my first ever roadkill plank?? Nope- I was way too busy pouting about those side star planks and feeling bad that I was so rude.

I know what to do when I mess up and I apologized to the instructor for what I said. She was gracious and accepted the apology so I feel better about that, except it's a reminder that I'm not perfect, I will never be perfect and I am constantly and forever a work in progress.

Other than bootcamp my day was good. I finished the drafts of reports I needed to before my meetings tomorrow. I am ready to move into my new room with my new roommate and I got to share my accomplishment in the 5K this weekend with colleagues who have been supporting and encouraging me all along.  Yes I still need to finalize a few files and make sure papers and reports are put away properly, but it's doable and will take maybe 30 minutes when I start.

I need to remember what I couldn't do not so long ago and focus on the successes and victories each day brings. I'm not proud that I snapped at an instructor this morning, but I am proud that I owned that and apologized. I'm proud that I did my first roadkill plank. I'm proud that even though Ladders frustrated and challenged me I finished the workout.

I'm learning and growing and changing every day. Even days like today when I'm impatient and I want a fast forward button to get me where I want to be NOW I should sit back and count my blessings.

Thanks for reading...back to your regularly scheduled evening now.