Superstar

The singlet I will need to wear for my first bench press in a public forum has arrived. I tried it on, mostly to be sure I'd ordered the right size and was surprised that it didn't look as hideous as I'd worried it would. I'm not saying it is something I would choose to wear and it certainly showed every lump and bump, but it wasn't horrible.

The singlet pre-Tyler.

Then I did something really scary: I handed the singlet over to Tyler. He offered to put the Pride Fitness Performance logo on it and then asked me about tiger stripes. I trust him not to do anything too flashy, I think. No, really I do trust him, plus I don't think anyone else will really pay much attention to me. I'll just be another competitor.

Which brings me to the title of this post. A friend I don't normally think of as prone to exaggeration referred to me as a "superstar" last night when we were chatting. I protested that I'm not any such thing: I just like to lift heavy and seem to have some talent in that area, not to mention a lot of training. She told me that I could have my opinion and everyone else could have theirs. She's right. I keep forgetting that what other people think of me is none of my business. I should just be thankful I have a core group who want to come watch me and will be there for support when I'm on the verge of panic and want to run. Trust me, I know myself and I know I will reach that point at least once on October 17.

My support crew wants to have t-shirts. T-shirts? For me? I'm bewildered, flattered and frankly overwhelmed. I resisted for awhile and was told it was happening and to deal with it. I made two requests: 1. That the men who got me to where I am be honored (Ben and Tyler both graciously agreed to their logos being on the t-shirt: thank you). 2. I asked that I not be referred to as a hero. I don't regard lifting heavy as being heroic. I have friends who have battled cancer, friends who are both mom and dad to their children, friends who serve our country in the military or as doctors, EMTs or firefighters: They are the heroes. I'm just the woman who lifts heavy stuff. Fortunately the two women who took on this project agreed to my requests. Carole and Nikki: Thank you both for taking this one on.

Thinking about being called a superstar got me thinking about why it is important to me to deadlift and bench press. Once I finally committed to this process of getting healthy and fit I promised myself I would be strong. Strong enough to be heard when I wanted to be heard. Strong enough to trust people and not always be looking for the exit. Strong enough to give anyone who might want to hassle me pause. Strong enough that if someone wanted to hurt me I would give as good as I got. Sometimes life is scary: I want to be confident that I can handle anything that comes my way.

I do realize that some of the reasons I have for wanting to be strong have nothing to do with physical strength. For me, being physically strong has translated into being mentally and emotionally strong as well. Feeling better about myself has made me more confident: I stand taller and I don't always remain quiet when I have something to say.

Thanks for reading!