Whatever It Takes- part 2

A little more than a year ago, a year and 2 days to be exact, I had a conversation that changed the way I looked at many things in my life. Coach Collins was gracious enough to take the time to explain how he thinks of levels of commitment with me. I will freely admit I didn't go into that discussion with the most open of minds. I had gotten my feelings hurt, my back was up, and honestly I went into it ready to be as childish, nasty, and just plain mean as I was capable of being. In spite of myself I found what he had to say thought provoking and it altered the way I view my passion.

On my own, in the past few days I have been thinking about the concept of "whatever it takes" more. Whatever it takes means no matter the sacrifice I am one hundred percent in. I've also come to the realization that whatever it takes also means that I need to take responsibility. No one, no matter how much they think of me or care about me can do any of this for me. I am solely responsible for this journey.

This thought really started nagging at me during Muscle Hour on Monday evening. Coach Brandon and I were talking a bit about nutrition and I said I wanted to be stronger. He said something along the lines of making my nutrition match my goal. I want to be leaner, but at the moment if strength is my goal I need to change up the way I do things. I'm not saying I can't get leaner and stronger, I just need to research the subject and develop a plan to keep from getting fluffier while not losing my strength. At the end of the day I will be in the weight class I am in when I weigh in and that doesn't make me any more or less worthy.

Coach B said something profound, in my mind at least. He said it is important to be proud of yourself, of your body and what it can do. I thought about it and in the past seven years I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I have been truly without reservation proud of this body and what it can do. That feels kind of sad. I can pull 430 pounds from the floor. I can load a barbell with 375 pounds, squat to below parallel and come back up with it. Those are things to be proud of.

I am about four months out from my next trip to the platform at the USA Powerlifting Northeast Regional Championships. That sounds like a lot of time, but it isn't. There is so much I want to accomplish before I stand on the platform with three judges watching me. So many things I want to perfect. I want my technique to be as automatic as breathing. I want to have bulletproof shoulders. I want a 500 pound deadlift and a 400 pound squat. That means I have a ton of work to do between now and then.

Notice I said I have a ton of work to do. My coaches can write the programs, give critiques and advice, but the work falls on me. I am sure both my coaches want to see me succeed, but they can't do it for me. They can have all the faith and confidence in me in the world, but if I don't believe in myself and have confidence in what I can do it won't do any good. If I could bring Coach T2 and Coach B onto the platform with me I would. In the end it will be me and the loaded barbell.

Whatever it takes is not just my level of commitment. It is also how willing I am to take responsibility and do the work. I can have the best program in the world, but if I half-ass it the results will be exactly what I deserve. I can know what I need to do to make sure my nutrition is supporting the work I do in the gym, but I also have to do it.

It all comes down to me. Am I willing to half-ass it and see what happens or am I going to focus, buckle down and do the work? I am committed to this journey whatever it takes. I may never understand why people find me inspirational or why I was chosen as Queen of the Pride, but I do understand how blessed I am to have the opportunities I do. I understand it is my responsibility to make the most of my blessings.

I am ready. Let's do this. Whatever it takes.

Thanks for reading!